It seems as if being honest is a bad thing among teenagers now. Well, it's usually represented that way among my peers. I've observed my behavior and the behavior of my friends and we just lie. That's pretty much what we do. It's sometimes a funny thing to lie. Lying seems okay when we're trying to get out of trouble. Lies. Lies. Lies.
It's pretty funny because my English teacher asked the class who the most honest person in the class is and the class said that I was the most honest. HA! The whole class was lying because I know for a fact, that I am not honest. I want to be. And I will strive for it. But currently, I am just a huge liar.
Yes. Liar, Liar, pants on fire.
My last virtue was confidence. And I've realized that I am already confident. Sometimes I do feel a little self-conscious and lonely, but that happens very rarely now. I'm much more happy and I do many things out of my comfort zone.
Now it's time for honesty. Which might be the hardest virtue to attain because lying has been deeply ingrained into me. I am not sure if I can stop lying. I will try and I will conquer!
I despise people who lie. But that's just hypocritical of me. I lie so much. I am pretty sure I might have lied 10 times today. They're not majorly-huge lies. Just kind of little ones to make myself look good. So in truth, I hide myself in lies. I don't want people to find out the real me. It's about time people learned the truth and start accepting who I am. I need to stop lying and pretending to be someone I am not. This is going to be a hard task. And I am not so sure of the outcome of it all.
First of all, I have to figure out how much I lie. I really don't want to do this! But, I must find out how many times a day I lie. I need to see if this goal might be harder than it looks or easier. I am not sure until I record my lies down. So, every day for a whole week. I am going to record how many times I lie.
Along with recording how many times I lie. I have to write down what my lie was. I have to find out what I mostly lie about. And why do I lie? Do I use lies for flattery? To avoid hurting people's feelings? To save my own behind? To make myself look good? And from that point, I can organize my lies into groups, so I can have a visual as to what I usually lie about and maybe figure out the reasons why I lie so much.
To whom do I lie to? I must write down who I lied to. This will say a lot about my relationships with my family, friends, teachers, acquaintances, and strangers. Who do I lie to the most?
What were the person's reaction to my lie? I must write down the person's reactions. What did they say? What did they do? What were their facial expressions? Did they believe me? Or were they kind of suspicious? This will tell if I am a good liar or not. Good liar or not, I must stop lying to these people that really trust me!
I really don't want to do this, but I must. I want to become a better person and this is a major step towards that. I will not become stronger and I will not flourish if I continue lying. I must see the truth and then I must act on it. I must fix it all. I must fix my life. I have done too much damage with my past lies. It needs to come to an end. So I can mend all those past lies and start anew, with integrity.
Of course, I will be starting this project in the morning, Saturday, January 30th. And I will stop and state analyzing my data the night of Friday, February 5th.
It's about time that I find out the truth. That I am living a life based on lies.
I am going to document my efforts into my blog. So I'll be sharing my experience with you.
Of course, I have definitely changed after writing this article. And I might not lie as much as I did before writing this. I will try my best not to lie. But if I do lie, then I must write it down. I will tell the truth now!
Life starts when I am honest!
I need to stop hiding behind my mask.
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